Half Atheist

One of my favorite punk bands is Bad Religion. They are punk rock veterans who are against government, religion, and are pro thinking for yourself. A lot of my friends, Christian or not, wonder how I can justify liking a band like that. Don't they hate my God? Aren't they philosophically opposed to me? Aren't they condescending towards me as a person? I won't deny any of that. They are opposed to organized religion, they worship science, and believe that if God does exist (which they are sure He doesn't), He is of no consequence.

One day I was listening to Bad Religion and I was feeling spiritually weird. This is bound to happen when you listen to somebody who sees the world in a way that you do not. I was feeling odd because I wasn't disagreeing with a lot of what they were saying. I have times when I feel like God isn't there. I have times when I feel like religion causes more hurt than help. Dare I say it, I have moments when I feel like I know better than God does. Listening to Bad Religion had put me in such a weird mood that I made a very startling admission.

I am an Atheist.

I said it. I said it out loud and do you know what happened? The Spirit of God fell on me in such a real way that I started to cry. I hadn't felt that close to God in a long time. All of my doubts and fears about God had be pushed aside at that moment. I became a stronger Christian and God used Bad Religion to do it.

If you are still reading, which I hope you are, I owe you an explanation. As a Christian the difference between my flesh and spirit is at the forefront of my day to day. I totally relate to the Apostle Paul when he said:

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

Romans 7:18-20

All day long I see the good I want to do and I do the bad instead. I see God's will, which I know is right, and I do my own thing. All day long I do stupid, stupid, stuff that is covered by the Grace of God. My flesh is atheist. It doesn't want God, it thinks it doesn't need God, and sometimes it wins. Sometime I cuss, sometime I lie, sometimes I lust, sometimes I get mad, and this is the atheist in me doing what I think is right at the moment.

As a Christian you might just say, “Well, that's the sin nature,” or as an atheist you might say, “That's just human nature,” and you'd be right as well. “Well, that doesn't make you an atheist,” is what both sides are probably saying in unison. To a certain extent I guess you'd be right. What I can tell you is that the two halves of me are diametrically opposed and that's how it should be. There is a part of me that God has to beat down and make submit and a part that He has to nurture and enhance. There is a part of me that kicks at the idea of God and there is a part of me that embraces it. This polarity is needed.

It's the blending, deliberating, compromising, and joining of the two that make issues. This, ironically, is the breeding ground for both fundamentalist heresies and Unitarian heresies. This war will wage as long as we have breath. It wages whether we acknowledge it or not. That is why we need Christ. If we can't tell the difference between who we used to be without Jesus and who we are with Jesus then we don't know Jesus. If we rely on rules and not Jesus to be our salvation from our atheist side then all we are is a better behaved atheist.

I've watched a lot of my friends become atheists because they were taught that if you are loved by Jesus you never want to sin. They can't kick the desires they have. They here a different philosophy. They meet a gay person who isn't trying to take down the whole American infrastructure. Sex is fun. All of a sudden God is on the chopping block and it makes more sense to kill Him off then to follow Him. Off with His head. The war isn't worth it so somebody has to die and it might as well be the thing that they can't remember seeing, touching, or feeling.

The thing I love most about Bad Religion is they remind me that the choices I make can only be made by me. They remind me that I don't have to take crap from anybody. They remind me of what lives inside of me. They make me not take my faith for granted. They make me seek out truth and not just swallow what I am taught. They, inadvertently I'm sure, show me how much my flesh hates God and how much my spirit needs Him. 

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The Relationship

Leviticus 9/Luke 5

            The fact that God asks anything of us shows the level of intimacy that He wants to have with us. The depth of any relationship is measured in how high the expectations are. If you don’t believe that to be true look at the different labels we have for non-family members. You have strangers, acquaintances, friends, buddies, best friends, bros, boys, significant others etc. We label people by how close they are to us and the closer they are the more we expect from them.  This isn’t mean spirited; it isn’t unreasonable, it is the very nature of relationships.

The Man (Johnny Cash) and Wife. 

            Look at a good marriage. Each member gives 100% of themselves. There is no 50/50. It is all or nothing. God often equates our relationship with Him to a marriage. My wife has higher expectations for me then anybody else on the planet. Are these expectations given out of distrust or hate? No, they are given out of love and intimacy. These expectations show the difference between love and like.

God is not out of line in asking us to love and serve Him. He created us, we goofed, and He saved us. He has put Himself 100% in this relationship multiple times. He has proven to us that He cares. Jesus modeled the level of expectation in the relationship God wants with us. God is not unjust. God is not a tyrant. He leads by example. God loves us all and with that love comes expectations. The expectations don’t save us but they show how He feels about us and how He wants us to feel about Him.

Why is it so hard for us to look at our relationship with God this way? We have super high expectations for Him. If anything bad happens we say, “Why did you do that?” When we don’t like what He has for us we say, “You could’ve done better.” When He gives us His expectations we say, “No, I’m philosophically opposed to that, so You’re wrong.” Why can’t we look at God’s example, what He’s done and just say, “Thanks”?

Relationships are always messy. The deeper the relationship is the bigger the mess will be. God knows this. God knows that the intensity of our relationship with Him will cause some sparks and spilled milk. The question to pose is where will we be standing after the smoke clears: closer or further?

Image originally found at:www.lettersofnote.com 

                       

           

             

           

            

Jesus & Church

Luke 3+4

            For a lot of us who are on the outskirts of society and church we love to see it in the Bible when Jesus preaches and teaches in bars, parties, and in the countryside. What we often neglect is on every given Sabbath Jesus was in church. Not only was He in church, He was active in church. Not only was Jesus active in church, He was active in a church where nearly everybody disagreed with Him. He went to church out of obedience to His Father, and for the few who would listen and be changed.

            To be blunt, a lot of Sundays I go to church out of begrudging obedience to the God who loves me and saved me. I hate the show, pomp, and circumstance the church in America has become. Then I think of what Jesus-the guy who came up with the whole Temple, worship, sacrifice, Sabbath thing-must have felt going to the spiritually raped and abused version that was in His day. He went, “as was His custom.”

            Yes, church can be twenty people in a living room or twenty thousand people in a stadium. Church is the body of Christ (all Christian believers) universal. However, if we follow the Jesus model we should be ministering to both the outcast and the upright. The hardest part about living for Christ in the church is the same as living for Christ in the world. Standing up for Christ is unpopular. People won’t like you. People will assume you’re an idiot and they will try to drive you out of town.

            It’s hard to go to church when people think you’re stupid. It’s hard to go to church when they are missing the mark. It’s hard to talk about the Bible when others want to talk about budgets, mortgages, and carpet colors. That’s why we don’t. That’s why people like us have to be in the mix reminding people that if Jesus isn’t number one, then lets go fishing on Sundays.

           You do what God tells you to do. End of story. But if we stop going to church because people are dumb then we aren't listening to God we're listening to man. All man will ever do is try to push you off a cliff. 

             Image found at: http://www.holyinnocents.org.uk/library/jesus/colour/jesus_teaching_in_the%20Synagogue%20(700x794).jpg